Do you ever have those moments in your life when you start to wonder if things are really going to work out for you at all? When you begin to wonder about the stability of the near future, imagine in awkwardly bright colors the complete collapse and crumble of everything you’ve worked for so far? Sure, you tell yourself that there is no real reason to be anxious. Everything is going to work out just fine, and even if it doesn’t, you’ll be able to handle it. When this happens, acceptance must soon take place, for there is no beating around the bush, it is going to be one of those melancholy days.
It seems that everyone has their small ‘cures’ for situations like these, though they hardly ever really seem to work, and you spend far too much time putting massive amounts of effort trying to pick yourself back up. Watch emotionally straining movies, attempt to rouse your endorphins by abusing the casually stagnant treadmill, venture out and about to pretend that you’re actually doing something instead of festering sorrowfully in your brain, but none of it really helps. By the end of the day, you’re just both exhausted and still slightly upset and the only hope of getting rid of this nagging feeling of potential failure is to go to sleep and hope the slate of your conscious is whipped clean by morning.
But, our outrageous and insatiable species has once again conquered another widely afflicting burden. That’s right folks! Walk away from the television that’s been playing Lifetime for several hours too long, put away the bottle of booze and turn down your sad country songs, because some gorgeous, unfathomably golden soul has created a cure.
Yes, a cure..
And before you reach over to grab your phone and make an awkward call to that shady dude who you’ve been subtly avoiding since you finished college, hear me out. This is a cure that is not only easily attainable and affordable, but also socially acceptable, though slightly diabetic. Before I am accused of being entirely ridiculous, take a moment to realize that when you’re stuck in this temporary rut there really is nothing better to do than attempt to take new advice. Particularly from the internet, because your friends do not want to talk to you right now, no one wants to talk to an apathetic, or woeful, buzz-kill.
Now that it’s been settled, hop on in the car and cruise to the grocery store. Don’t sway towards the pharmaceutical section, though it may be tempting. Keep trudging your way through laughing children and screaming moms. Weave through the shopping carts as if you were in a video game, don’t let the sorrow swell, you are determined.
The candy aisle.
This is where you spot it, the iron to smooth all of life’s wrinkles, the sweetest confectionary concoction to rise from our nation of gluttony. The package doesn’t fit in with those around it, different in size and shape only to carry something selected to the most suitable and perfect amount. It shines with a bright, familiar orange that elicits an immediate response from your taste buds.
In this package are 21 unwrapped miniature Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. No bigger than a marble, each one holds the delight of a small exploding star, filled with a euphoric essence that can only be achieved by the outcome of such a pure shared intimacy as the one of chocolate and peanut butter.
Yeah, your life might seem like it sucks. You might be going broke, or about to lose your job, or having relationship problems, but right now, in this very moment, these cute little fuckers are melting in your mouth and it is absolutely wonderful. They simmer to sweet and salty syrup that stings your throat and makes your teeth itch insanely but the only perceivable solution is to eat another handful.
You’re welcome.
(Caution: reviewer has a skewed sense of reality, morality and priorities.)
Reese’s Unwrapped Mini’s Rating: +1000/10
~Site design by Alluvia ~ Copyright 2008-2011, RiotousRecordsUSA~
